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’ ‘It needs to look fresh,’ Mrs Parslow explained, squeezing my hand encouragingly. I imagined Mr Parslow carrying the same stoically prepared demeanour into the many legal battles he must have fought as a barrister. I bet he looked right splendid with one of those peculiar wigs on his head. Oh to have witnessed him at his pomp. Intellectual men are so sexy. The Parslow’s had a mansion on the far side of the village. I’d been brought up to sneer at them, principally because they weren’t slumming it in a council house like the rest of us. I’d asked Dad about them a few times, but all he’d say was that Mr Parslow was a posh twat who sat on the parish council. Mum added that his wife was a snotty cow who organised the village fete every year. ‘Bossy bitch, too.’ ‘Tossers,’ Dad agreed, and lit another cigarette. It wasn’t much of a critique. Dad sneered at anyone who had more money than we did. Unless they played for Sheffield United - for only those who graced the hallowed turf of. As we talked I leant she was Amy, 17, couldn’t get a job even though she wanted one, didn’t have a boyfriend as she said “I’m too fat”, shoulder length dirty blond hair, and on her own admission she used to sleep around for affection she didn’t get at home.She asked me “Are you married?” I replied I was, she asked me “Why did you buy me this” pointing to her fish and chips, “Because I fancy you” I answered, she smiled as she ate. “How old are you?” “Does it matter” “No not really” as she ate we found ourselves sat in silence. When she’d finished she said “Do you want to screw me” I said “Yes I do” “Where” “Just up here”.She thought about it for a moment and then said “Ok”. As she threw her wrapping in the bin, we started to walk up the road, we came to an alley way, now it wasn’t ideal but……. She looked at me and said “Up here” I smiled at her and grabbed her hand as we scuttled up. As it narrowed a side street was on the right, it was a dead end and surrounded by dumpster.
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